Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Changes

We close on our new house next Friday!  We’re all excited to feel settled somewhere.  In the meantime, I’ve been cranking out projects, all different:
-I made my first adult sweater for my husband
-I made my first sock…just one sock  : )
-I worked on my ocean scene cross stitch that I started in 1994.  It is so close to done!  But can I really close the door on that project?  On and off again for 17 years?  I don’t know if I can let go!
-A throw pillow with cats on it for my mother-in-law for belated mother’s day.  The pattern was from Caron yarn's website.  Pics below:
cat_pillow1cat_pillow2
Anyway, I am still trying to decide what I would like to post to sell on Etsy.  I don’t want to get started on the site until I have a real plan and I’m having a very difficult time choosing what to do…Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated!
I’ve also started writing everyday, even if only for a few minutes.  I have it in my head that I want to write a book someday so for now I’m just writing anecdotes so that I’ll have them later. 
I also started reading War and Peace.
Okay, I know that it sounds like a lot of things that are, perhaps, lofty.  It is probably a phase (I hope not, I like feeling productive) in an effort to avoid you-know-what………..…Well, it’s two things actually. 
1. PACKING!!!!!  We just did this last year! 
2. Job hunting.  My husband and I agreed that I should wait until we’re settled with the move because it’s too much to handle at once.  But, I am desperately looking for other ways to make money (successful Etsy shop, best-selling novel…Pipe dreams!!!) because I don’t like laboratory research anymore.  That’s a bratty statement…Either I really don’t like research anymore or I’m still hurting from being fired.  I think it’s both.  We’ll see after we’re settled into our house and we’ve got summer travel out of the way.
: )

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Follow-up to the parent-teacher conference

I forgot to update on how the meeting went with my son’s first-grade teacher and the school counselor.  Let’s see…that was two Wednesdays ago, March 30.  Meeting went well in the sense that as frustrated as I’ve been with this teacher, I kept very calm and remained fair.  We all agreed to start trying to focus more on recognizing my son’s good behavior instead of only the bad.  Simple enough.


So the next two days went quite well for him…he succeeded in staying on task and he also received positive reinforcements.  Great!  Now all we need is for some consistency…Remember, this is a teacher whose personal problems continue to pull her out of the classroom on a weekly basis.  She is incredibly overweight, suffered from a stroke a few years back, and apparently has a son with severe behavioral issues.  I am not sure if she is married as she is referred to as “Ms.”, and I’ve seen a woman older than her driving her to work.  I am incredibly understanding about life’s problems and stresses with everything our own family has been through over the years.  But I couldn’t help feeling like, why does my kid have to have the teacher with all the issues when WE are going through so many issues right now?  Poor me.

So like I said, my son got through the rest of that week well, had a nice weekend of being rewarded with his much beloved videogame, and then comes home Monday with a letter from the principal…to the whole class, not just him!!   Now, don’t jump to conclusions!  It was to inform us that over the weekend, his teacher’s mother passed away unexpectedly.  She would be out for the rest of the week and maybe more.  I immediately started crying because this woman has so many issues already, and now her mom died without warning.  It was like a big punch in the gut that reminded me how my family is strong and we are dealing with our issues.  And now is the time for us to be supportive of her since she is a part of our life, by choice or not. 

In the interim, my son had his best behavior for the entire time the substitute was there.  Today his teacher returned and was very happy to see how well he has been doing.  My son had made her a card…It said “I missed you very much.  I hope you are happy to see your class” and he drew a rainbow and flowers.   He wanted to write that he was sorry that her mommy died.  That is exactly what we all mean when we write “So sorry for your loss”, yet I persuaded him not to write it.  I just couldn’t help feeling like, if she saw those very words, she could break into tears from its painful honesty.  Her mommy did die.

What do you think of Raven Rock?

Cause that’s where we’re probably moving at the end of May!  Raven Rock Terrace in Gaithersburg.  We have a contract on the house, which is in the same school zone as where we live now.  Inspection is tomorrow so here’s hoping all is as it looks.  Unlike our first home, this home is move in READY.  For those of you who have been with me for the long haul, you may remember the SAND that covered our living and dining rooms as my husband painstakingly attempted to create a level surface out of chaos in order to install hardwood floors.  We did not have children then…DUH!  Keep your fingers crossed for us!  We really need a coup to give us a boost.   And I need a break from my poor husband’s obsession with the mortgage game…I mean, I can’t blame him and he really tries hard to get the very best rate for us, but it’s been all-encompassing for him, and therefore for me!  I guess it’s such a big deal so I’m just not up for the challenge.  I am firing on all cylinders just keeping up with the kids.
 
Sidenote: “Firing on all cylinders” is an idiom.  Many people don’t know this, but I am idiom-tarded.  I can NEVER get them right.  This example was no exception, since I originally wrote “firing all cylinders” and had to look it up to see if it was right.  Honestly, it’s by far not the worst case of idiom-nesia I’ve had.  I’ll try again the next time it feels like the right time for an idiom to see how my disease is progressing!

Well, I am SO close to being finished with the knitted sweater for my husband.  I have been working on sewing the seams and read a most unbelievable, wonderful way to sew seams on knit sweaters in The Yarn Girls' Guide to Simple Knits [Book]It is completely counter to sewing fabric, where you hold the fabric together with wrong sides out.  I am really glad I read about it, because I had already started sewing the sweater with the wrong sides out and just figured that’s the way it is….Then I took it out, did it the correct way, and have been in awe ever since.  It is way cool!  I made a short video showing how it’s done with the technical assistance of my oldest and the foley artist talents of my youngest.


Note to self:  Consider working on upping the professional quality of future video presentations!  

Best to everyone : ) 

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Getting back on my feet

The internet is working and I’m applying for jobs.  Good start to the week.  But of course I have some complaints too!  I’ll just list one:  Parent-teacher-counselor conference tomorrow morning.  duhn duhn DUHHNNNN.

My son’s first grade teacher is out of the class almost as many days as she’s in!  Apparently, she has health problems, but we have heard that she is actually out more often due to her son’s behavioral problems.  I don’t know anymore than that, but it must be bad cause of how often she has to take off.  So my son has been talking and giggling in class everyday, and no matter what we do he can’t seem to stop.  BUT, if he is appropriately redirected, he can get back on task.  She doesn’t seem to take the time to do this, but I don’t know for sure what is going on.  We have a daily contract that comes home with some notes, but I have a hard time getting this teacher to respond to email (about 50% response) and through notes I send to school (ZERO% response).  So I am dreading this conference tomorrow cause my husband and I are SO frustrated already;  we fear the aggravation we may encounter tomorrow morning.

Why is it almost April and it’s freezing outside!?  Those fools with their myth of global warming….it’s the opposite!  It’s global freezing! (This, by the way, is a legitimate argument used to oppose the existence of global warming…between those that use that argument and proponents of the “birthers” movement, my belief in Darwin and ‘survival of the fittest’ is questioned!)
Anyway, been knitting away at the sweater.  Front and back are done, now I’m working on the first sleeve.  It is a cap sleeve, so this will be my first sweater that is not raglan.  Hope it’s easy!   My amigurumi projects are kinda in limbo.  Although, octopus, the very first amysamigurumi, has real eyes!  As soon as I finished the eyes, little Sammy took it as his own.  It is now part of his pile of bed toys so it was nice knowin’ ya octopus! 

                             octopus with real eyes

The other day he went to get the turtle I made, which has been sitting on the living room end table, beheaded, for a week or so.  (See picture from former post of its huge head http://amysamigurumi.blogspot.com/2011/02/no-post-yesterday.html)  Anyway, he took it and looked at it…and turned it back, and turned it forth, and found no head…And that’s when he started yelling at me, and promptly returned the headless turtle to the end table, where he still remains. “Yelling at me” means he became very serious, looked me straight in the eye and, while gesticulating, shouted “Mommmmmmeeeee, ba duh ba do do TURTLE Mommy?” 3 or 4 times.  I had better fix that head!

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Things Done, Things Not

Still having internet problems so it's been hard to keep up.  But over the past couple of weeks, I finished the bathrobe for my son and for a very first sewing project, it was definitely a success.  He loves it!

       FinishedRobe1                                          FinishedRobe2

 

Of course, I haven’t been applying for jobs (and didn’t get the one that I actually did interview for).  It is hard to search for and apply for jobs when the internet keeps going down, but I can’t say I’m super motivated to be looking.  Nuff said.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Out of Touch

Would you believe I haven't had internet service at home since Friday?  I do have the smartphone, however, so no big deal right?  Yet in order to check my blog with my "blog gmail acct", which is different from my regular gmail acct, I had to add the account to my phone...and I attempted this on March 1... and of COURSE, gmail updated its smartphone services that day.  So I would need to update it on my phone, and of COURSE my phone can't do it.  Because the new google update for the phone is for something like 2.3 say, and my phone is 2.1 say, and so the new software isn't supported by my oh-so-outdated phone (I have had the phone since November!), and I cannot do it!  My phone is so annoying...they were supposed to have an update for the phone when I bought the phone, then it was delayed until the new year, and now it is March...no update from Sprint.  And to get to the point, I do not care enough to complain to Sprint, or look into a different phone....it is so low on my list of priorities and I do not have the strength for it!

Anyway, using the browser on the phone annoys me and I can hardly see it, so I didn't update anything since last week.  My legions of fans who know me well no doubt have been thinking "And here it ends....her blog experiment lasted a week!"  (Liz...you know you thought it!)  But oh no, Amy  is still unemployed so let me grace you with the details of my past week...

When last we met, I was awaiting word about a house and just had an interview.  Well, we didn't get the house.  It was not meant to be as the people who did get it make 4x as much money as we do, so we couldn't compete considering we offered full price.  So I was seriously moping for the next 24 hours, but I got over it.  Especially since we looked at some more houses and I realized that maybe there ARE other houses with pretty kitchens!  But nothing on the horizon right now.  We kinda felt like we needed to stop looking when we realized that Jamie's employer might not pay him if the government shut down next week!  No income?!  But as it turns out, his grant is funded through his employer, not the government, so even if the base on which he works doesn't allow people on since it's military, he will not be penalized for it.  Phew! 

And I have not heard anything regarding the job interview.  It has been a week and a day so it's not too long yet, but I just feel like I'm not going to be offered the position.  I guess I just can't even imagine working...I'm still having PTSD from the firing and it is seriously affecting my job motivation.  And I think my subconscious reveals that conclusion in that I have never been so "craftily" productive before.  The house is a mess, so I am purposefully failing as a "housewife", but I am succeeding as "stay-at-home mom" since my two-year old has been a delight, and I am succeeding as "crazy closet craft lady"-- I add closet because I am pretty much keeping it to myself and this blog.  If I had any entrepreneurial spirit I could have sold a product or even my services by now.  

I have still been knitting a sweater with a fervor that has basically induced arthritis (self- diagnosis, so yes, I'm just being "me", Liz)  So I had to stop that a bit and decided to start the sewing project I bought this summer when I got my very first sewing machine.  I have never sewn with a machine before, and my sewing sensei, Janice, recommended a simple pattern and approved my choice of a fleece bathrobe to make my oldest, who has wanted a bathrobe for like 2 years now.  Well, fleece is forgiving AND difficult! And what a disastrous mess...little flecks of fire red fleece are EVERYWHERE and no joke, my husband helped me vacuum myself last night. But I have traced the pattern, cut out the traced pattern, cut out the fleece, made the markings, and currently have the basic outline of a bathrobe completed!  I have sewn the pieces together, I just need to do the finishing edges and that will probably take some time...But I consider it a success already!  And it is going to be huge on him....I haven't hemmed it but it will need a lot done.  I want him to try it on, but really, if he were to try it on now, the flecks of fire red fleece will be all over his fleece jammies and then I either will have to vacuum him or send him to get fleece flecks all in his bed!  It's worse than Easter grass! 

(okay, sidenote:  I was not allowed to have Easter grass when I was a kid.  My mother didn't like that it got all over the house.  Between that and her random rule that I was not allowed to watch "Woody Woodpecker" because the noise irritated her all the way across the house, I wonder why there's still a part of me that feels like it's going to get in trouble even though I'm a grown-up!  Still, I guess you have to agree I've made progress if I'm not quivering with fear about all the red fuzzies all over the house!)

I also finally made it to church after a 3 month hiatus.  I simply could not garner the strength to go while I was working because I was beyond exhausted every evening and every weekend.  It was all too much.  So I am glad I got out to do that.  And I played my viola with the church ensemble practice session on Sunday, so more of my creative side is being fed after complete starvation for months.  And I guess it must be important for me to be doing all this crafty creative stuff because I have felt pretty satisfied, when typically I feel pretty disheveled.  

Okay, that's enough update.  Here are some pics of the robe.





By the way, love ya Liz!  : )



Thursday, February 24, 2011

So.....Tired....!

It has been a crazy few days (of no blogging you may have noticed), but nothing like today!  Anyway, I was cursed with some awful gastroenteritis Friday night that left Saturday as "the lost day" and Sunday a day when even walking up the stairs made me winded.  I do not know what had destroyed my body, but I wish it begone from this world and not get any of my friends and loved ones.  It was pretty awful.

Monday and Tuesday were complete catch up days, and that includes the basic necessity of EATING.  It was so good to eat again, and on Tuesday I was the happy recipient of some delicious "job-grieving" chocolates from Liz at http://lizohsiekdesigns.blogspot.com !  I am told that there will be wine next month and cheesecake the next.  That girl knows how to cure what ails me!  This is all through AmazingStuff, in case anyone is looking for a resource for lifting others' spirits!

And then came today...Today was interview day.  You know, the rebound interview after the bad break-up...picking yourself up and putting yourself back out there with all those unknowns.  Nerve-wracking!  Spent the morning refreshing myself on company information,etc.

My hubby stayed home today to watch the two-year old so I asked him for some contact information about his former graduate advisor, who I also worked a bit for back when I was in grad school.  Anyway, my hubby had worked for his advisor AND his advisor's wife, who generously paid him to be her computer consultant and web site designer.  She also hosted an engagement party at her home for us and took professional pictures at our wedding pro bono since we couldn't afford to pay anyone.  She is responsible for my only taste of caviar one New Year's Eve, she taught me how to make candied orange peels (so good!), and she fed us the most delicious, freshest meals on a regular basis as she treated us like family while we lived in New Haven.  She treated us to a night of Robin Williams live comedy and then introduced him to us after the show!  Her cousin was his wife! (not anymore of course)  Then, as my hubby was finishing his grad work, advisor's wife suddenly filed for divorce from advisor.  What?  We were with them constantly and had no idea this was coming.  So once we moved to Virginia, keeping in touch with both of them was a tad awkward, although we tried.  And then, I think we last saw her when my oldest was under a year old, so in 2004.  That was almost 7 years ago.  Today when looking up the advisor's information, we thought we should check on her info as well to see if she still worked at Yale with him.  And to our shock, we found a beautifully written obituary honoring her life, which ended last spring.  Last spring!  We had no idea, and we had actually been in contact with her ex-husband this summer.  He never mentioned it.  (that's not surprising, just frustrating)  So here it is, an hour before my interview, and I'm being flooded with memories of this very good person who we just could not believe had passed away (way well before her time, really....She was a caring, wonderful doctor of hemophiliacs and had so much to offer!)   I'm putting on my eye make-up while welling up with tears...very counter-productive.  

Anyway, got through the interview.  Nothing dramatic happened.   Not sure where my confidence is and how it was conveyed, but I got through it fine.  Whether I get an offer or not, we'll see.  So, I arrive home after 4 to prepare for a visit from our brand new realtor (we nixed the last one...too lazy)  because even though I am unemployed, and even though me and the hubby decided it is too stressful a time to be looking at buying a house, we both wanted to jump on a new listing that seemed to draw us both in.   It is a small house compared to what we're renting now, but it is finished with lovely remodeling and it has the most beautiful screened in back deck...just beautiful!  And it is in our son's school district.  As soon as we were done looking at the house, we knew we wanted to make an offer.  So we part ways with the realtor, come home to feed the kids, and then learn that the seller's realtor is presenting an offer to the sellers tomorrow at 1.  So we need to get our offer in by noon tomorrow to compete with the other offer.  And so, it is now just about midnight and we have signed and initialed a billion things, got a new lender letter of pre-approval, and had to decide strategically what our offer should be and what our offer could NOT be....there are limits people!  Remember, no tengo trabajo!  Mucho pooro!  just kidding. 


So now, I have inside of me:
1-Will I get offered the job?
2-Will our offer on this beautiful little house get accepted? 
3-How can Dr. Diana Beardsley have left us?

Of the three things, I know I most want to honor Diana right now, so forget worrying about the other two.  I will remember how we brought a case of fresh Hawaiian pineapples on many planes back from our Maui honeymoon so that we could gift them to Diana, an appreciator of good food, along with a bottle of pineapple wine and champagne made on Maui.  And to our dismay, when we went to assemble the pineapples in a more festive form than a case, we found them already rotting!  And so we abashedly went to Stop and Shop, bought the best looking pineapples, and presented them as a gift with the wines.   Diana's comment while we ate the pineapple for dessert that evening?  That these were the best pineapple she had ever tasted.  God bless her.  We are sorry we lost touch, but you are still in our hearts forever.

Friday, February 18, 2011

No post yesterday...

I did not have any new news to report regarding the termination ordeal.  I had emailed the HR supervisor Wednesday afternoon and have not heard back from her, big shock.  Although, she certainly contacted Little Miss Escort-Me-Out because at 9:30 this morning, I received an overnight fedex from her which contained but one sheet of paper: My termination letter with the correct date on it.  I never told her directly that she had dated the termination Jan. 4 instead of Feb. 4, which means the difference between firing around 90 days or firing at 115 days.  But I did email that tidbit to her supervisor.  I couldn't help but grin a tiny bit because it means she was spoken to, which no matter what will show that she has screwed up a termination.  Even if nothing comes of it for her, it still made her have to do extra work for someone who doesn't even work there.  Considering her favorite statement to me on Wednesday was "You're not employed here so there's nothing I can do for you...", it is kinda satisfying.  She must have said that at least 10 times.  I knew she was getting frustrated when she actually started rehashing the reasons I was terminated (just to make me feel bad), although she has no idea why I was terminated.  She only knows the lies my supervisor told her.  

So anyway, with everything that happened with HR on Wednesday, I felt sucked back into a bad place in that I started ruminating about every move I made at work and how I acted and how people reacted to me, etc....It's hard not to do that when you are used to being appreciated.  It leaves you doubting your self-assessment skills and wondering how you could be so far off the page that everyone else was on.  BUT, the fact is I do not need to be analyzing all of that.  The fact that I was not aware of how I was being perceived is a weakness on their part, too, because it means they were not communicating their concerns with me.  Hey, I don't really mind getting paid 4 months to learn an entire set of skills that would normally cost money by taking classes.  Thanks stupid job!

Anyway, all of this nonsense drained every ounce of energy and optimism out of me yesterday...I would say that job and its HR are really Dementors in disguise, skilled at sucking the life out of everyone, including a lowly Muggle like me.  I could feel all the progress I've made over the past two weeks being pulled out of my mouth and through the phone.  The aftermath was that Thursday I felt pretty hopeless (despite all the blessings in my life).  I didn't work on any amigurumi and didn't feel like I could be happy about anything.  It didn't help that my day started with my 6-year old getting me up from bed to take him to school (pitiful) and that when I entered my 2-year old's room, he was peacefully sitting on his bed saying "Yucky" to the pile of puke he was sitting next to.  This mom job ain't easy, but at least I got hugs and kisses as payment. 

So today is a new day!  The Dementors gave me the idea of looking into Harry Potter amigurumi that's out there (not sure I'm interested, at least not now).  Meanwhile, I have to behead a turtle (see picture) and continue working on a fish of my own design  (yay, I have been creating my own!  And not writing down what I've done!  uh oh). 


His head seems top heavy to me.  The colors are inspired by the pet turtle on Blue's Clues, which I watch a lot of these days.  : )  But again, still can't find my digital camera so this is a phone pic and the colors are way off.  It is a bright green, not so foresty as it appears here. 

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Arghhhhh!!!

It is not typical of me, but I feel very strongly that I need to go to part of the serenity prayer for strength right now:  

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.  


Or, in more typical Amy fashion, perhaps I should go straight to the wise words of Frank Costanza: 

Serenity Now!!!!

Oy!! Today I had to deal with HR from the place that fired me.  Believe me, they don't want to talk to me, but I initiated it because I question the legality of my termination.  So, in order to know if they broke any rules, I need to see the Employee Handbook.  Why do I not HAVE the employee handbook?  Because it was on the INTRAnet that you can only look at while you were on a work computer.  So then I was terminated, told to pack my things, and escorted from the building (the most BEWILDERING experience of my crazy life), so why on earth would I have the sense of mind to stop and say,"WAIT, let me look up the legality of this termination on the intranet before I am forever banned from reading it!"  It took a good week before all of this haze lifted and my hubby and I realized that I had worked for 115 days with no word of evaluation before that final day.  And the grounds for firing me was that I had not met expectations within the 90 day introductory period.  Naturally, we became curious about the evaluation policy and this "90 day" business.  So Friday I left a message with HR asking them to send me, by mail or electronically, a copy of the employee handbook.  Well, today is Wednesday and Little Miss Escort-Me-Out called to tell me that since I was no longer an employee, she could not provide me with the Employee Handbook.  Come on, roll your eyes with me.  Serenity Now!!!

And say a prayer for the poor HR people of the world.  I would not want their job for anything.

Being that she could not give me the information I needed, I asked for her supervisor.  She became hesitant.  She barely remembered her supervisor's name and can you believe it?  She just couldn't recall her supervisor's extension number at that time.  (and I got fired...thank GOD!) Honestly, if company policy was followed accordingly in my termination, then why is it such a freakin' ordeal to get me the information that would shut me up?  I'll tell you why...something isn't adding up.  

I'm not going to lie...I'm truly not a spiteful person.  However, if Little Miss Escort-Me-Out and my supervisor got less of a bonus for being involved in a minor wrongful termination situation, I would probably do a teeny tiny happy dance.  If nothing comes of this and they followed protocol, then they are still wasting my time (as they did for about 4 months) and I'm the fool.  So be it.

And since I am in such a crummy mood (yes, crummy), I leave you with Lamby.  Lamby just can't be looked at without feeling a little compassion.  I modified Lamby from http://www.craftster.org/forum/index.php?topic=155762.0 and I absolutely love him.  So do my kids.  I do not think I will part with him.  I took a lot of time embroidering his eyes and nose and I just love him.  So former employer, screw you!  Lamby is a testament that I live on! 



Oh wait, he had no arms then.  Here:










Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Valentine's Day Parties

Well, I have brushed myself off, picked myself up, and gotten myself back into the social scene.  Not to brag, but I had THREE Valentine's Day parties to go to yesterday.  First was cupcakes and juice boxes with the first grade class, and we went straight from there to the daycare's bash....two parties there!  The two-year old gathering had cupcakes, cake, more cupcakes, juice boxes, mandarin oranges and cheese puffs.  Any guesses as to the most popular treat with this group of kids?  Mandarin oranges!  Then I went to the more sophisticated party in the next room with the older after-school kids where they had hot dogs, cookies, brownies and, you guessed it, juice boxes!  Phew!  I was wiped out from all the social activity!  Since I had made the brownies, and therefore had eaten some before we even made it to the parties, I only had cheese puffs and a juice box.  I have got to remember to buy cheese puffs next time I'm at the store! I had forgotten all about that food group!

After all this partying, I was too wiped out to enjoy a Netflix movie with my hubby, so another year goes by with an uneventful Valentine's Day for the grown-ups.  I did get Gerbera daisies and a beautiful card, so I'm good.  : )

As for amigurumi, I made a heart from a free pattern offered at http://owlishly.typepad.com/owlishly/2009/02/corazoncitos-free-amigurumi-heart-pattern-in-3-sizes.html.  I made the larger size, it came out very nice, and my first grader gave it to his teacher as a little gift.  And then I realized I never took a picture!  So last night I made the middle size and took a picture today, again on the phone camera.  It doesn't look as nice as the larger one, and you can see too much stuffing between the holes, but it was a new technique to learn in order to make it so I'm happy.


Monday, February 14, 2011

Amy's amigurumi project begins

It's been a full work week since I've been fired.  Now, I am not the type of person who most people (including me) would ever believe was capable of getting fired.  But it DID happen and it was one of the worst experiences of my life.  Not only was I not allowed to defend myself at the "termination meeting" against the vague reasons I was being let go, which left me feeling so angry, but now I was left with the understandable need to make sense of it all.  And that leaves you doubting your skills, your conscientiousness, and your ability to fit in with people.  None of these are good feelings, especially when self-esteem is already something I have to be conscious about boosting everyday.


After a couple of days of complete depression and anger, I wanted to do something for ME.  I had the time now.  I love to knit and crochet.  The last project I worked on was knitting a sweater for my son...and it came out beautiful and was very rewarding to complete, but now I needed something that would make me feel like I accomplished something with more instant gratificationThe only things I crocheted were baby blankets or afghans, although once I crocheted a little monkey for a baby gift.  But how I made the leap from that idea to Amy's Amigurumi is lost to me.  Because I had no idea what amigurumi was when the day began, and somehow I knew a lot about it by the end of the day.  


Ami (ah-mee) means crochet in Japanese.  With the strong need to feel like I had some purpose (besides being a mommy), I felt it was too coincidental that the word for crochet in Japanese was so close to my own name.  As I looked at more of the amigurumi creations that were on the web, I started to feel motivated.  Motivated!  That's not something I typically feel.  It's just not my personality I guess.


My first project was from Lion Brands free patterns and it was an octopus.  I took a picture with my phone camera (I still have to learn the art of taking a great picture) and sent it to my buddy Liz @ http://www.lizohsiekdesigns.com/


I wasn't feeling too confident about putting a cute face on it, so I set a pair of paper eyes I made in seconds on the octopus.


He looks sort of the way I feel...like "Are you going to mess with me?  Really?  Take that job and shove it."  He makes me happy.