Follow-up to the parent-teacher conference

I forgot to update on how the meeting went with my son’s first-grade teacher and the school counselor.  Let’s see…that was two Wednesdays ago, March 30.  Meeting went well in the sense that as frustrated as I’ve been with this teacher, I kept very calm and remained fair.  We all agreed to start trying to focus more on recognizing my son’s good behavior instead of only the bad.  Simple enough.


So the next two days went quite well for him…he succeeded in staying on task and he also received positive reinforcements.  Great!  Now all we need is for some consistency…Remember, this is a teacher whose personal problems continue to pull her out of the classroom on a weekly basis.  She is incredibly overweight, suffered from a stroke a few years back, and apparently has a son with severe behavioral issues.  I am not sure if she is married as she is referred to as “Ms.”, and I’ve seen a woman older than her driving her to work.  I am incredibly understanding about life’s problems and stresses with everything our own family has been through over the years.  But I couldn’t help feeling like, why does my kid have to have the teacher with all the issues when WE are going through so many issues right now?  Poor me.

So like I said, my son got through the rest of that week well, had a nice weekend of being rewarded with his much beloved videogame, and then comes home Monday with a letter from the principal…to the whole class, not just him!!   Now, don’t jump to conclusions!  It was to inform us that over the weekend, his teacher’s mother passed away unexpectedly.  She would be out for the rest of the week and maybe more.  I immediately started crying because this woman has so many issues already, and now her mom died without warning.  It was like a big punch in the gut that reminded me how my family is strong and we are dealing with our issues.  And now is the time for us to be supportive of her since she is a part of our life, by choice or not. 

In the interim, my son had his best behavior for the entire time the substitute was there.  Today his teacher returned and was very happy to see how well he has been doing.  My son had made her a card…It said “I missed you very much.  I hope you are happy to see your class” and he drew a rainbow and flowers.   He wanted to write that he was sorry that her mommy died.  That is exactly what we all mean when we write “So sorry for your loss”, yet I persuaded him not to write it.  I just couldn’t help feeling like, if she saw those very words, she could break into tears from its painful honesty.  Her mommy did die.